The art of parenting

 BEHAVIOR AND PARENTING

It is a common occurrence in our society to see an angry parent arms akimbo lamenting loudly about his child's behaviour blaming the teachers. It is common to hear in the society ' their teachers doesn't discipline them ' or ' where does that child go to school'. It is a common belief that teachers shape what a child  becomes. While this bears some truth, it is not entirely true. Research has shown that parents are the number one influence on their children's behavior. They are the first teachers and as early as two years a child will start adopting traits from their parents.

Parents will influence how children view life and aspects of it including  religion , politics, health, education amongst others. Research shows that how you react to illness has a lot to do with how your parents reacted to illness when you were a child. As with other activities, children repeat what they learn from their parents. Parents who pamper their children more than necessary, tend to produce lazy, I'll mannered adults who have an attitude to everyone who thinks different from them. 

Parents tend to question their parenting skills when their children misbehave and turn from what is right. There is no clear formula for good parenting and likewise no distinct definition of bad parenting. However there are some aspects that are wholly accepted to be negative parenting.

Some signs of bad parenting include:

- Under involvement with the child

- Little or no disciplining the child

- Strict or too rigid disciplining

- Withdrawing affection from the child

- Shaming the child on his weaknesses

Bad parenting has its effects on the child including:

- The child will have a negative perception about himself

- Control issues and rebellious behavior

- Emotional disconnection

To counter this parents should learn to:

- listen to their child's thoughts or opinions

 - Provide appropriate consequences for ill behavior

- Show affection and attention to the child

It is also important for parents to be able to detect behavioral disorders in their children as early as possible to avoid future problems. These may include:

- Easily getting annoyed or nervousness.

-Often appearing angry.

- Putting blame on others.

-Refusing to follow rules or questioning authority.

-Arguing and throwing tantrums.

-Having difficulty in handling frustration.

A case in point is a grotesque murder that has sent shocking waves across the country. The killing of four family members by their flesh and blood. A twenty three year  old university student killed his own family in cold blood . A plan meticulously planned and ruthlessly executed he slaughtered them one by one  stating his two sisters in school were lucky to escape him.

The young man may have his own issues but standing in a court of law he cited family issues as his reasons for committing such an evil act .According to investigators, Lawrence alleged that unfair treatment had pushed him to murder his parents and siblings.

That is a common claim among many siblings , some parents may tend to favor some children. The results are there for all to see . It may not end up in a gruesome murder like in the case above but there are more long lasting effects as a result. This may influence how the child will treat his own children as well how he will perceive family.

It is clear that Parenting has such a big influencing the life of a child. Hence from zero years, how you raise a child really matters.